Recently I sent a pilot study to some of my old teammates. I received a ton of great responses and helpful feedback, which made me really excited for the upcoming master's project research I'll be doing. It's going to be a long haul this winter, but I have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it. I want it to mean something to at least one person, and already I'm pretty sure that has happened.
I've also had a great running week--filled with runs where I just felt strong, runs that I was able to enjoy the fall sunsets/sunrises (!), and runs that just needed to happen as a mental break. In the midst of all the dimensions of things I'm attempting to "get together" these days, I always am able to think clearer and more creatively while running. Running buddies and endorphins help, too! Lately I've been thinking about how unsettled and unfocused I've been this semester. But somehow on runs I'm always put at ease and often come up with interesting ideas, too. I truly believe that God works in a variety of ways to get our attention and help us wake up from going through the motions. Personally, God speaks to me most often through training because I am less distracted and more willing to listen than during the other parts of my day.
While I've been so uncertain and indecisive about, well, most things in life, I've also been feeling like I have to do everything right throughout my day. The rigid plans I make, and the continual failure to actually follow through with a set schedule keeps dragging me down. I make excuses and just get distracted so easily. "Follow through" has been a popular thought as well. I just never feel like I'm content or doing my best at trying to balance a lot of different roles. But what do I do? Take on more!
This is by no means an entry that will make a lot of sense, and maybe I will look back on it and think how dumb I was in retrospect. But I'm going to throw out the thought that since so much of what I'm doing right now seems uncertain, scattered, wishy-washy, whatever...all these commitments and roles I'm taking on are really just pilot studies. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, and I know that is just fine. But I'm on the right track (pun?) by trying to gain experience in a lot of different sport settings. Emphasis: a LOT. Between school, my assistantship, working, coaching, and training, not to mention all the people who have influenced me and who I interact with every day, it's pretty safe to say I've had a well-rounded education. Is it possible to be too well-rounded? (figuratively speaking, of course...not trying to put on any pounds this winter!)
So all these "pilot" experiences...what am I trying to get out of them? What's the point of dabbling in so many different things, yet not feel like I have an expertise in anything specific? The best answer I can think of is that everything I've been part of recently has been really good, or at least helpful with making me realize what I like and don't like...and what I'm good at and not-so-good at. It may be too early to tell, but I hope that I'm on my way to figuring out what I really want to do because of the things I've taken on this year. I also need to recognize that every job will have parts to it that I will not enjoy doing, and that even if I'm not good at something, I should want to improve at whatever that might be. I yearn to be at my best with everything I do, but maybe my failure to follow through is the Spirit's way of telling me that I'm not relying on God nearly enough.
While I commend people who know what they want and stick with it, I've settled on the idea that my inefficient route of trial and error is how God is leading me. I shouldn't speculate like that, but looking at my life right now, I don't know what else to think. In essence, my day-to-day life has become a smattering of pilot studies. However, I think each of these experiences will shape me into the person I strive to become. I have many faults, and I know no one is perfect or ever will be perfect. But at the core, I have the desire to grow and learn and ultimately impact others. So really, I'm just searching for the best avenue that God wants me to take for fulfilling that purpose. That's really what life is about, anyway! Easier said than done, obviously, but it's amazing how freeing it is to keep all these day-to-day worries in perspective. It's not about me, after all. If I consistently told myself "it's not about you" throughout the day, I wonder how much different I would think/communicate/act!
With that, I'm thankful for all these opportunities. I have been learning to say no to some things and recognize that I can't do everything, and I especially can't do everything well. Am I crazy for taking on so much? Quite possibly. But I'm really not worried, and I'm confident that God will show me the right way(s).
With that, I'm off to run a spontaneous little road race--11k at 11:11pm on 11/11/11...in what is going to feel like about 11 degrees!
Showing posts with label plans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plans. Show all posts
Friday, November 11, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
A Humbling Lesson from Daniel
Well, it has been quite the summer! New adventures, new people, new opportunities, travelling, running, and a new lack of routine has comprised the majority of my life over the last couple months. I have often had times when I think about a good topic to blog about, but then fail to follow-up with actually writing anything because I get side-tracked or caught up in something else. I had nothing scheduled today OR tomorrow though, which meant that after I heard the sermon this morning I knew it was time to actually follow through and flesh out this sermon that struck me so perfectly. God's timing rocks, even more than the Timex tap-screen or Nike GPS watch!
Summary of Daniel 4:
The sermon title was "Dreams of Falling" and it's context is from Daniel 4. God enabled Daniel to be able to interpret dreams, since back in the Old Testament times dreams were one of the ways that God spoke to people. King Nebuchadnezzar had a dream about a huge tree that was chopped down, and no one in Babylon (magicians, enchanters, fortune-tellers, etc.) was able to interpret it. Finally the king called on Daniel to interpret the dream for him, and Daniel basically told him that the dream meant good news and bad news. Bad news: "You will be driven away from human company and live with the wild animals. You will graze on grass like an ox. You will be soaked in heaven's dew. This will go on for seven seasons, and you will learn that the High God rules over human kingdoms and that he arranges all kingdom affairs." Good news: "Your kingdom will still be there for you after you learn that it is heaven that runs things."
One year later, David's interpretation came true. The king was in the midst of boasting about how great HIS kingdom was, and then a voice from heaven spoke, "Your kingdom is taken from you...the sentence is for seven seasons, enough time to learn that the High God rules human kingdoms and puts whomever he wishes in charge."
Seven years later, after living like a wild animal with long hair and nails and eating grass (!), Nebuchadnezzar came back and proclaimed, "At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: 'What have you done?'" (Daniel 4:34-35, NIV)
He was also given back his kingdom and was reestablished as king, and he said, "Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." (Daniel 4:37)
Pastor's Key Points (with my thoughts sprinkled in):
1. I did that.
The king became proud and boasted about his kingdom. He said, "Look at this, Babylon the great! And I built it all by myself, a royal palace adequate to display my honor and glory!" (Daniel 4:30, MSG)
Nebuchadnezzar (what a great Bible name!) had an "it's all about me" attitude. This distorted view of reality undoubtedly floods our culture. I built this, I own this, I went here, I won this race, I got a perfect score, I want to eat this, I make this much money, I look good...etc. Don't get me wrong, it is good to have confidence in our God-given abilities. But we often tell ourselves or others these things in order to reinforce our self-worth and image of ourselves, and we leave God entirely out of the picture.
But what if instead, we went around saying-I am prideful? Or, God provided me with this? Or, that's the gift God gave me? All of the talents and gifts and blessings and opportunities that comprise our little kingdoms are ALL from God, no question about it. Would it take me seven years to realize this, like it did for the king? Well, I still have not learned this entirely, and I've lived for over three times the amount of time that it took the king!
"Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17, NIV)
2. God's Plan: Time is no issue.
God's plans, words, and directions for us are not time-sensitive. He does not operate on our schedule! Often times, we wait to hear God's "call" or direction in our lives...but then we get impatient if we don't hear a clear answer. Then we get prideful and think we can handle everything on our own. We settle into our little routines and think we can control them. We lose sight of reality and take on the "me" attitude--especially when our schedules get busier. Am I right?
An example the pastor used was regarding weddings--something that strikes a chord with me quite well! When he got to be in his late 20s, he became bitter about going to weddings because he thought he should be getting married himself, and he grew impatient with God for not knowing who his wife would be yet. These joyful events are amazing and wonderful to share with others and celebrate the unity of two people! But just because it may seem like everyone else is getting married does not mean that it's in God's timing or even in his plan at all for each of us to get married. It is so easy to become prideful and feel sorry for ourselves if we are not at that point yet, or in my case, even close to being at that point. However, it is so important to remain patient and prayerfully seek God's will in all circumstances before falling into the trap of bitterness. It's just not worth it! If we were all on the same "plan" for marriage, or any other big life event for that matter, what fun would that be? More importantly, God orchestrates every detail of our lives together, according to HIS timing, so that we can best serve him during each stage of our lives here on earth. Why do we doubt his timing when he is the one who created time in the first place?
3. Getting the mind right
I need to develop more humility and patience in order to see God's plans more clearly and with confidence. If I take on attempting to "figure out life" on my own, I am deliberately telling God that I don't trust him. I should not feel entitled to receive anything--any good or perfect gift--because I don't deserve them. Jesus paid the ultimate price for me to live as I am now, and after reading through the book of Matthew with my small group this summer, I am again struck by how ridiculous it is for me to think that I can take credit for any good things in my life. God has blessed me richly and loved me in spite of my brokenness, even though I deserve the exact opposite. Like we sang this morning, "if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." Certainly, none of us will ever be perfect in this life, but if we are able to humble ourselves, then we can point to the only one who was perfect as we daily trust God's timing more than our own skewed version of it.
The last example the pastor used this morning was so representative of how we can aim to prevent falling into the trap of pride like King Nebuchadnezzar did. He told us to remember a time when we were performing--whether in a sport, concert, or something else where our parents were watching us and we were trying to do our best. I of course could think of many sports examples from when my parents were there to support me. He mentioned how even when there is a large audience watching you, usually you can see and hear your parents if they are cheering and showing how proud they are of you. We know where they are in the crowd. Naturally, we feel good when we make our parents proud, and also when we try to please other people. As an aside, people-pleasing may feel good in the short term, but it does not bring joy or satisfaction. But how much better would it be, and how much joy would we experience, when we see God's pride in us as he watches us in our everyday lives, doing his work and serving him wholeheartedly? So know where God is in the stands, and make him proud.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7, NIV)
Summary of Daniel 4:
The sermon title was "Dreams of Falling" and it's context is from Daniel 4. God enabled Daniel to be able to interpret dreams, since back in the Old Testament times dreams were one of the ways that God spoke to people. King Nebuchadnezzar had a dream about a huge tree that was chopped down, and no one in Babylon (magicians, enchanters, fortune-tellers, etc.) was able to interpret it. Finally the king called on Daniel to interpret the dream for him, and Daniel basically told him that the dream meant good news and bad news. Bad news: "You will be driven away from human company and live with the wild animals. You will graze on grass like an ox. You will be soaked in heaven's dew. This will go on for seven seasons, and you will learn that the High God rules over human kingdoms and that he arranges all kingdom affairs." Good news: "Your kingdom will still be there for you after you learn that it is heaven that runs things."
One year later, David's interpretation came true. The king was in the midst of boasting about how great HIS kingdom was, and then a voice from heaven spoke, "Your kingdom is taken from you...the sentence is for seven seasons, enough time to learn that the High God rules human kingdoms and puts whomever he wishes in charge."
Seven years later, after living like a wild animal with long hair and nails and eating grass (!), Nebuchadnezzar came back and proclaimed, "At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: 'What have you done?'" (Daniel 4:34-35, NIV)
He was also given back his kingdom and was reestablished as king, and he said, "Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." (Daniel 4:37)
Pastor's Key Points (with my thoughts sprinkled in):
1. I did that.
The king became proud and boasted about his kingdom. He said, "Look at this, Babylon the great! And I built it all by myself, a royal palace adequate to display my honor and glory!" (Daniel 4:30, MSG)
Nebuchadnezzar (what a great Bible name!) had an "it's all about me" attitude. This distorted view of reality undoubtedly floods our culture. I built this, I own this, I went here, I won this race, I got a perfect score, I want to eat this, I make this much money, I look good...etc. Don't get me wrong, it is good to have confidence in our God-given abilities. But we often tell ourselves or others these things in order to reinforce our self-worth and image of ourselves, and we leave God entirely out of the picture.
But what if instead, we went around saying-I am prideful? Or, God provided me with this? Or, that's the gift God gave me? All of the talents and gifts and blessings and opportunities that comprise our little kingdoms are ALL from God, no question about it. Would it take me seven years to realize this, like it did for the king? Well, I still have not learned this entirely, and I've lived for over three times the amount of time that it took the king!
"Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17, NIV)
2. God's Plan: Time is no issue.
God's plans, words, and directions for us are not time-sensitive. He does not operate on our schedule! Often times, we wait to hear God's "call" or direction in our lives...but then we get impatient if we don't hear a clear answer. Then we get prideful and think we can handle everything on our own. We settle into our little routines and think we can control them. We lose sight of reality and take on the "me" attitude--especially when our schedules get busier. Am I right?
An example the pastor used was regarding weddings--something that strikes a chord with me quite well! When he got to be in his late 20s, he became bitter about going to weddings because he thought he should be getting married himself, and he grew impatient with God for not knowing who his wife would be yet. These joyful events are amazing and wonderful to share with others and celebrate the unity of two people! But just because it may seem like everyone else is getting married does not mean that it's in God's timing or even in his plan at all for each of us to get married. It is so easy to become prideful and feel sorry for ourselves if we are not at that point yet, or in my case, even close to being at that point. However, it is so important to remain patient and prayerfully seek God's will in all circumstances before falling into the trap of bitterness. It's just not worth it! If we were all on the same "plan" for marriage, or any other big life event for that matter, what fun would that be? More importantly, God orchestrates every detail of our lives together, according to HIS timing, so that we can best serve him during each stage of our lives here on earth. Why do we doubt his timing when he is the one who created time in the first place?
3. Getting the mind right
I need to develop more humility and patience in order to see God's plans more clearly and with confidence. If I take on attempting to "figure out life" on my own, I am deliberately telling God that I don't trust him. I should not feel entitled to receive anything--any good or perfect gift--because I don't deserve them. Jesus paid the ultimate price for me to live as I am now, and after reading through the book of Matthew with my small group this summer, I am again struck by how ridiculous it is for me to think that I can take credit for any good things in my life. God has blessed me richly and loved me in spite of my brokenness, even though I deserve the exact opposite. Like we sang this morning, "if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." Certainly, none of us will ever be perfect in this life, but if we are able to humble ourselves, then we can point to the only one who was perfect as we daily trust God's timing more than our own skewed version of it.
The last example the pastor used this morning was so representative of how we can aim to prevent falling into the trap of pride like King Nebuchadnezzar did. He told us to remember a time when we were performing--whether in a sport, concert, or something else where our parents were watching us and we were trying to do our best. I of course could think of many sports examples from when my parents were there to support me. He mentioned how even when there is a large audience watching you, usually you can see and hear your parents if they are cheering and showing how proud they are of you. We know where they are in the crowd. Naturally, we feel good when we make our parents proud, and also when we try to please other people. As an aside, people-pleasing may feel good in the short term, but it does not bring joy or satisfaction. But how much better would it be, and how much joy would we experience, when we see God's pride in us as he watches us in our everyday lives, doing his work and serving him wholeheartedly? So know where God is in the stands, and make him proud.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7, NIV)
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