Verse of the day: Don't Delay!

As I was sitting at my laptop and putting off doing work just now, I came across biblegateway.com's verse of the day:
“I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” -Psalm 119:60, NIV

Here's a paraphrased snippet from the Message version as well: 

"When I took a long, careful look at your ways, 

 I got my feet back on the trail you blazed.
I was up at once, didn't drag my feet,
was quick to follow your orders."

I LOVE when things like this pop up in everyday life right when I need a wake-up call...now it's time to get to work!

A Humbling Lesson from Daniel

Well, it has been quite the summer!  New adventures, new people, new opportunities, travelling, running, and a new lack of routine has comprised the majority of my life over the last couple months.  I have often had times when I think about a good topic to blog about, but then fail to follow-up with actually writing anything because I get side-tracked or caught up in something else.  I had nothing scheduled today OR tomorrow though, which meant that after I heard the sermon this morning I knew it was time to actually follow through and flesh out this sermon that struck me so perfectly.  God's timing rocks, even more than the Timex tap-screen or Nike GPS watch!

Summary of Daniel 4:
The sermon title was "Dreams of Falling" and it's context is from Daniel 4.  God enabled Daniel to be able to interpret dreams, since back in the Old Testament times dreams were one of the ways that God spoke to people.  King Nebuchadnezzar had a dream about a huge tree that was chopped down, and no one in Babylon (magicians, enchanters, fortune-tellers, etc.) was able to interpret it.  Finally the king called on Daniel to interpret the dream for him, and Daniel basically told him that the dream meant good news and bad news.  Bad news: "You will be driven away from human company and live with the wild animals.  You will graze on grass like an ox.  You will be soaked in heaven's dew.  This will go on for seven seasons, and you will learn that the High God rules over human kingdoms and that he arranges all kingdom affairs."  Good news: "Your kingdom will still be there for you after you learn that it is heaven that runs things."

One year later, David's interpretation came true.  The king was in the midst of boasting about how great HIS kingdom was, and then a voice from heaven spoke, "Your kingdom is taken from you...the sentence is for seven seasons, enough time to learn that the High God rules human kingdoms and puts whomever he wishes in charge."

Seven years later, after living like a wild animal with long hair and nails and eating grass (!), Nebuchadnezzar came back and proclaimed, "At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored.  Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.  His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation.  All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing.  He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth.  No one can hold back his hand or say to him: 'What have you done?'" (Daniel 4:34-35, NIV)

He was also given back his kingdom and was reestablished as king, and he said, "Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just.  And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." (Daniel 4:37)

Pastor's Key Points (with my thoughts sprinkled in):
1.  I did that.
The king became proud and boasted about his kingdom.  He said, "Look at this, Babylon the great!  And I built it all by myself, a royal palace adequate to display my honor and glory!" (Daniel 4:30, MSG)
Nebuchadnezzar (what a great Bible name!) had an "it's all about me" attitude.  This distorted view of reality undoubtedly floods our culture.  I built this, I own this, I went here, I won this race, I got a perfect score, I want to eat this, I make this much money, I look good...etc.  Don't get me wrong, it is good to have confidence in our God-given abilities.  But we often tell ourselves or others these things in order to reinforce our self-worth and image of ourselves, and we leave God entirely out of the picture.

But what if instead, we went around saying-I am prideful? Or, God provided me with this?  Or, that's the gift God gave me?  All of the talents and gifts and blessings and opportunities that comprise our little kingdoms are ALL from God, no question about it.  Would it take me seven years to realize this, like it did for the king?  Well, I still have not learned this entirely, and I've lived for over three times the amount of time that it took the king!

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  (James 1:17, NIV)

2.  God's Plan: Time is no issue.
God's plans, words, and directions for us are not time-sensitive.  He does not operate on our schedule!  Often times, we wait to hear God's "call" or direction in our lives...but then we get impatient if we don't hear a clear answer.  Then we get prideful and think we can handle everything on our own.  We settle into our little routines and think we can control them.  We lose sight of reality and take on the "me" attitude--especially when our schedules get busier.  Am I right?

An example the pastor used was regarding weddings--something that strikes a chord with me quite well!  When he got to be in his late 20s, he became bitter about going to weddings because he thought he should be getting married himself, and he grew impatient with God for not knowing who his wife would be yet.  These joyful events are amazing and wonderful to share with others and celebrate the unity of two people!  But just because it may seem like everyone else is getting married does not mean that it's in God's timing or even in his plan at all for each of us to get married.  It is so easy to become prideful and feel sorry for ourselves if we are not at that point yet, or in my case, even close to being at that point.  However, it is so important to remain patient and prayerfully seek God's will in all circumstances before falling into the trap of bitterness.  It's just not worth it!  If we were all on the same "plan" for marriage, or any other big life event for that matter, what fun would that be?  More importantly, God orchestrates every detail of our lives together, according to HIS timing, so that we can best serve him during each stage of our lives here on earth.  Why do we doubt his timing when he is the one who created time in the first place?

3.  Getting the mind right
I need to develop more humility and patience in order to see God's plans more clearly and with confidence. If I take on attempting to "figure out life" on my own, I am deliberately telling God that I don't trust him.  I should not feel entitled to receive anything--any good or perfect gift--because I don't deserve them.  Jesus paid the ultimate price for me to live as I am now, and after reading through the book of Matthew with my small group this summer, I am again struck by how ridiculous it is for me to think that I can take credit for any good things in my life.  God has blessed me richly and loved me in spite of my brokenness, even though I deserve the exact opposite.  Like we sang this morning, "if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking."  Certainly, none of us will ever be perfect in this life, but if we are able to humble ourselves, then we can point to the only one who was perfect as we daily trust God's timing more than our own skewed version of it.  

The last example the pastor used this morning was so representative of how we can aim to prevent falling into the trap of pride like King Nebuchadnezzar did.  He told us to remember a time when we were performing--whether in a sport, concert, or something else where our parents were watching us and we were trying to do our best.  I of course could think of many sports examples from when my parents were there to support me.  He mentioned how even when there is a large audience watching you, usually you can see and hear your parents if they are cheering and showing how proud they are of you.  We know where they are in the crowd.  Naturally, we feel good when we make our parents proud, and also when we try to please other people.  As an aside, people-pleasing may feel good in the short term, but it does not bring joy or satisfaction.  But how much better would it be, and how much joy would we experience, when we see God's pride in us as he watches us in our everyday lives, doing his work and serving him wholeheartedly?  So know where God is in the stands, and make him proud.    

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  (1 Peter 5:6-7, NIV)

Significance of "All Out Endurance" - Part 2

At long last, here is my continued explanation of "All Out Endurance" from what I experienced in my first year of grad school. Enjoy!

This year, God nudged me to take a baby step of faith and allow him to set the pace. Maybe it was from the routine of training competitively for the previous 10 years, but I still had the passion to compete as the marathon training tapered off in September and October. Even after a great summer of feeling relief and excitement to move on from collegiate running, I felt all along like I was waiting for something. At first, I saw the Chicago Marathon as that light at the end of the tunnel—that is what I had been training for, so naturally that’s what I thought my anticipation came from. However, the marathon came and went—even though it was a great experience, I hadn’t met my goal and I was mainly just satisfied that I finished it without walking.

About a month before that 26.2-mile test of endurance, I met with the cross country and track coach here. I had one season left of athletic eligibility, except it was only for an indoor track season. In track, generally the outdoor season is given more emphasis and the indoor season is just used as preparation for outdoor, so I had figured it wasn’t worth it to run another season. Plus, this was a Division I school—it’s not like I could really make an impact with the high level of competition. And anyway, who was I to jump onto a brand new team for a couple months and attempt to train with these intense athletes? I hadn't been that accomplished of a runner even at the DIII level during undergrad, so why did I think I could succeed on a team like this? It was time to focus more on my education and future career as a coach, not keep trying to be an athlete. Despite my uncertainties, I talked with the coach and started practicing with the team. I figured I could just see how long I'd last until I realized for myself that it was time to stop chasing this crazy dream of mine.

To make an already long story longer, my first and last season on this new team turned out to be the breakout season I had always dreamed of having. Even though I was skeptical of how the different training would affect my races, I surprised myself by running all-time PR's during our first meets in January. Over the course of the indoor season, my times plummeted by 11 or so seconds in the mile and 28 seconds in the 3000m. I ended up having the opportunity to run three events at the conference championships, and all three races are ones I will never forget. Furthermore, I decided to keep training with the team through the rest of the school year because I couldn't imagine just stopping when my teammates still had the outdoor season ahead. Even though I raced unattached and was out of eligibility, my teammates and coaches still saw me as part of the team. I had more of a carefree training regimen, which basically meant I tried to race whenever I had the opportunity!  Timewise, I dropped 29 seconds in my favorite outdoor race (steeplechase), 14 seconds in the 1500m, and about 6 minutes in a half marathon.

I can attribute many factors to my performance improvements that I will not get into much here, but without a doubt the new coaches and teammates I had played a huge role with that aspect. However, there was so much more to this past season than the race results, or the “quantitative” element to running that I have always loved. I learned to take a tiptoe of faith every day I arrived at practice. I overcame a multitude of doubts, and with each doubt I knocked down, another pillar of confidence rose up. I got to know my teammates more, and even though I respected them, I slowly lost my initial feelings of intimidation and fear. My coach challenged me to work harder than I ever had before. I got stronger in the weight room and pushed through brutal track workouts, and I was sore every single day. I set aside one of my past fears that I would burn out from working so hard—but I reasoned if everyone else could push through the training, I could suck it up for a few more weeks too. My teammates pushed me to be better, and somehow said I inspired them in return. In all honesty, I gave everything I had because I had nothing to lose. The pressure of reaching any of my past expectations was gone, because this season was a gift. I wanted to get the most out of it that I was given because it was truly an unexpected act of grace. In short, it became clear to me how God had worked through the multitude of good, bad, and neutral details that transpired throughout this season, and I am amazed that he decided to use me as part of his larger plan.

This year has been so much different than I had imagined it would be. I knew moving here and not knowing anyone would be a big change, and I was ready for change. However, I decided to pursue one more track season only because I felt like God was nudging me towards it.  Not only did he show me this was where he wanted me this year, but he also expected me to go all out for this team.  Of course I failed on numerous occasions and do not want to gloss over my imperfections, because I had many humbling and learning experiences this year.  However - God works in mysterious ways, and I learned it is infinitely better to live according to his plans rather than trying to stick to my own self-centered and detail-ridden agenda. This story just scratches the surface of the ways that God has worked in my life this year—but if there is one encompassing thing I’ve learned, it’s that going all out is worth it. The sooner I recognized that (and continue to remind myself of it!), the sooner I could let God work in me and through me to run—and live—with purpose, joy, and endurance.

Quick thoughts

Clearly it has been quite some time and I am long overdue for an update...life is busy, but so good.  Part 2 will be coming once the school year wraps up!

I am realizing more and more that I am a better writer than I am at giving speeches...but from the unprepared ramblings I gave tonight at the track banquet, it seems (almost humorously) like my main point came across: that God's plans are just plain better than our own.  This has been a central theme for me over the past year.  God has been so patient with me as I have doubted, hesitated, and then...slowly...still-not-quite-fully-surrendering-but-at-least-acknowledging...the simple TRUTH that his plans are just SO MUCH BETTER than anything I could ever come up with in my own agenda!  I want to believe, proclaim, and live according to this truth.  God is always up to something; all we need to do is be ready to jump on board for the ride and let him work!

How to sum this up?  Well, God said this to Paul some time ago, but I'd have to say it applies to our lives today QUITE well: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Then Paul responded, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (see 2 Corinthians 12 for context)

Over and out.  Finish strong!

Significance of "All Out Endurance" - Part 1

Well, I have delayed in explaining the title of this blog.  All Out Endurance...this phrase appealed to me because I am a distance runner, and also because it wasn't taken already!  In all seriousness, I had a lot of options for blog titles before I decided on this one, most of which had to do with the many parallels that exist between faith, life, running, and sports in general.  I don't remember exactly how I thought of these three words together, but it was probably on one of the long runs I did before the Chicago Marathon last October.  Let me tell you, when you are running for 2-3 hours alone, the mind thinks up all kinds of things!  Probably the mix of endorphins, boredom, and physical fatigue all contributed to allowing my brain to think just a little more creatively than it usually does.


In itself, all out endurance is a paradox to the running world; I can't be physically going "all out" and yet pace myself at the same time.  In shorter races, I can go all out physically, never settling in to a position or pace.  At the least, I can be intently focused on the finish line, so that when I cross it, I know I couldn't have given anything else.  But in a race like a marathon (or even something as "short" as a 5k), it would be ridiculous to go "all out" over the 26.2 mile course.  In a marathon, endurance is the key.  Now I personally can't speak from experience on how it feels to finish a marathon the right way--after going out too fast the first 10 miles and just trying not to walk the last 10 miles in 80 degree weather--but no matter what, anyone who attempts to finish should have used a pretty decent amount of physical endurance in covering that distance on foot!  However, to say that the effort was all out would be inaccurate, because marathoners know they cannot give 100% of their effort for 3+ hours or they would die trying.


So if it is not possible in running to have all out endurance, why is this my theme?  Even in other things, if I give 100% to something 100% of the time, won't I eventually burn out?  Get sick of it?  Quit?  For most things, this is probably true.  Everyone needs a physical and mental break from time to time or else we will certainly "break" down in one way or another.  However, I believe there is one thing, at least that I have experienced, that we can go all out for, all the time.


There are so many analogies people make between having faith in God and things we do--running, working, celebrating, learning, serving, and a multitude of other actions and parts of life.  But all analogies lose their value at some point because there is nothing, NOTHING in this world that can be compared with our God.  I have never been more certain that he is worth going all out for; he will restore me when I fall; he knows me better than I know myself; he loves me no matter what; he is always perfectly unchanging; he will help me to endure, and not only endure but to embrace pain and experience joy through it all; he has suffered more than I could ever imagine, much less experience myself; and, finally, he is everything!  Nothing else really matters in the grand scheme of things, and nothing else should matter more than giving glory to God for loving us, creating us, paying the ultimate price to save us, and wanting us to follow him and accept the grace he offers.  All around, God himself best exemplifies all out endurance because he has always given 100%, will continue to give 100%, and has endured everything for our sake through his son.


This all may be starting to sound a little abstract, so I will attempt to illustrate of how I've recently seen his plans at work and his presence in my life.  But first, some background: about 8 years ago, I decided I would try to become a great runner.  God has blessed me with athletic talent, and I have always loved sports.  I also played basketball, soccer and softball competitively, but by the end of my high school career I felt most confident and passionate about cross country and track.  I had also developed my closest friendships through these teams and learned a good amount of life lessons in the process.  During my undergraduate experience, I was a part of an amazing team and have so many great memories from each season.  I developed as a runner slowly and struggled through various issues along the way, but finished with much-improved junior and senior seasons.  However, even though I became "fast" by my standards at the time, I struggled not to define myself in comparison with other runners' performances, including those of my teammates.  Like many college athletes, I dreamed of becoming an All-American or part of a national championship team.  In itself, these were good goals to have and many of my teammates shared these dreams with me.  Looking back I think I kept other things in perspective to running at times, but I know I also allowed running to take priority more often than it should have.


Without going into many unnecessary details, my senior year ended up being frustrating and disappointing from a running standpoint.  Despite the fact that my race times had improved, I had expected more of myself and did not run at a national meet like I had the opportunity to do twice my junior year.  I struggled with pride issues before, and I had allowed it to creep back into my thoughts; also, I went back to defining myself by how I performed in races.  Even though I had some regrets from competing, I tried to see the bigger picture and honestly "get over myself" because clearly, I needed to realize that there was much more to life than college running.  Much of what happened throughout the year had been out of my control, and more importantly I was still so happy to have been part of the awesome community that made up our team!  However, I decided that after track season I would need another goal to keep me from going into withdrawal, so I signed up for the marathon in April and decided to raise money for a charity through it.  After having decided on summer and grad school plans, I figured I would be done with competing on a team since I had used up all but one season of indoor track eligibility, and I was ready to be done.  I was physically and mentally ready to move on and hang up the racing spikes for good.


"What we've learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We've finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade." (Romans 3:28, MSG)